Recently, I had the pleasure of meeting with two very effective leaders. As I reflect upon these interactions, and as I have had the opportunity to observe each “in action”, I note a few differences and similarities.

Differences:

  • One is male and one is female.
  • One is a northerner and one is a southerner.
  • One runs a for-profit entity and one runs a nonprofit entity.
  • One is an introvert and one is an extrovert.

Similarities:

  • Both are CEOs of their organizations.
  • Both have over 30 years of work experience.
  • Both are very well-respected in their communities.
  • Both have an incredibly strong desire to build long-term, meaningful relationships with colleagues, employees, customers, people of influence and friends.

It is this last bullet point that may be the secret sauce to their success, so I will share what I have observed and my thoughts:

1. Building relationships is part of their DNA.

It is a mindset. It is a way of life. It is a skill, and like most skills, it can be developed over time. The way to do this is to view each interaction with someone, whether it is a first introduction or the 100th time you meet in the hallway, as an opportunity to offer something positive to that relationship. Let me say that again - view each interaction with someone as an opportunity to contribute to the relationship.

Relationship building is a mindset.

2. Building and enhancing relationships is a marathon, not a sprint.

Strong relationships are founded on familiarity and trust. You may start at a networking event, but it will take many interactions over a period of time to really build familiarity and trust. Use each interaction with a prospect, a customer, or a colleague to add to the foundation of familiarity and trust. (Interactions may include billing, social media posts, comments at a cocktail party, etc.)

Relationship Building Is Not a Transactional Interaction.

3. Actively connect people.

One way leaders provide value and build trust with others is to connect them to people in their network. This is easy to do “when we think about it”, but effective leaders do it as a matter of course. So the next time you are interacting with someone, think about whom you might introduce them to.

4. They are positive and seek to uplift others

Nice people really can finish first. Effective leaders are often pleasant, optimistic people. Their conversations, even the difficult ones, are approached from a positive perspective designed to preserve the relationship.

5. They don't burn bridges.

Relationships take a long time to fully develop. They are valuable. However, they can unravel very quickly. Leaders understand this.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received from my Dad was, “Don’t ever burn a bridge. You never know when you are going to come across that person again and need their help.” his has served me well, and observing the two leaders mentioned in the introduction confirmed the value of this advice.

We have been told that life is about the relationships we build and nurture. This is true for leaders as well. So as you climb the leadership ladder, work intentionally to develop and enhance relationships with your employees, clients, bosses, fellow Board members and peers.